As I sit here, sipping on Gatorade and dipping my tiny little breadsticks into this toxic combination of chemicals that is the cheese tray, I find myself vexed. I am vexed due to the fact that there is a seemingly perfect ratio of cheese to breadstick, but I have yet to find, and doubt that I ever will, that perfect ratio. Everytime I eat these Not So Handi-Snack's, I start out with the first breadstick dipping it and scooping what I think to be a perfect 1/8th of the cheese, as to insure that the remaining sticks recieve the same fair share of this psuedo-cheese. By the time I reach the 8th breadstick however, one of two things always happens: 1) There is far too much cheese left to be eaten with one stick, meaning that I either have to choke down a huge slab of cheese with hardly any bread to dilute it, or scoop the remaining cheese with my finger as to not waste...or 2) There is hardly any cheese left at all, and I have to scrape the sides and the bottom of a square shaped tray, with a rounded breadstick, a task in itself. Either way, never once have I found the ratio in which each stick recieves the proper amount of cheese, and goes down smoothly. I do not know if I ever well, perhaps it was just not meant to be.
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