Tuesday, April 08, 2003


Song Playing: "Kettle Whistle" by Jane's Addiction.

I came to a major realization again tonight. For all those who remember my major epiphany about 5 months ago, this epiphany was equal to, if not greater than the first. For those of you unfamiliar, I will give you a short summary of the first. The first realization was that I needed mountains in my life...big, snow capped mountains always looming on the horizon, never far from where I was. I thought I needed a house with a lot of land around it, in some place where winter outlasted summer, and the air had a chill. I thought I needed a husky dog, a spacious cabin-like home, and a warm fire. Today I realized, I thought wrong.

Well, maybe half wrong. I know somewhere inside me I need those things, somewhere they are part of me, but the majority of Me, is somewhere else. When I walked outside today, I felt the sun on my face. I realized at that moment that what I really need in my life is a temperate climate. I need a beach, I need an ocean, I need palm trees and sand. I need to smell salt air, and I need to smell the rain as it soaks into the shore. So in reality, this is not a new realization, as I've known these things all my life, I just call it a realization because I re-realized what was important to me. Essentially, I think what would be the perfect situation, was that I had enough money to have a home on the ocean, in some amazing warm place, and a cabin-like home in the mountains somewhere, with snow capped peaks looming on the horizon. If anyone out there knows how to make this dream a reality, or wishes to donate any money towards my cause...feel free.

"Don't look for miracles. You, yourself, are the miracle." - Henry Miller