Tyler Knott Gregson - Tyler Knott Productions Brain Rain

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

I thought a lot today. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, sat still, and let any and everything pour through my brain. What I began to slowly realize while filtering through the thoughts that cluttered my head was that I am truly a man of opposites. I am not entirely sure how this came about, when the shift began, or if I was even conscious of the choices I made that lead to this state of an almost antonymic existence. I suppose I've always walked somewhat of a different path, marched to the beat of a different drummer (that is the lamest analogy by the way), and done my own thing but it was not until speaking with a few friends that I realized that there are a great deal of minor discrepancies between myself and the rest of the population, but deeper than all of that, there is one inherent difference that composes who I am, the question is, where did it come from?

The day we placed the silly tassel to the other side of the cap, the day those same caps littered the sky like falling stars, the day we walked across that high school field one last time, everything changed. From then on, and in truth even before that day, we were bombarded and assaulted with questions...Where will you go, what will you do, what do you want out of life, what's in your future, what do you want to be? Rarely, if ever, was the question asked to me, Who Are You? I do not know if it was the absence of that question, or the absence of an answer to all of the others, but from that day forward, I wanted to answer only one, Who was I? It is not arrogance, and it is not ignorance, but I feel the vast majority of people try very hard to answer the first questions, assuming the answers will eventually create a new answer for the latter. As I sit here typing this, I can think of so many people who know what it is they want out of life, where they want to end up, who they want to end up with, and what they Will be; as I look at myself, I realize I have no idea what I want out of life, I have no idea where I will end up, nor with who, nor what I will be, but I do know who I am.

The question I am left with, is which is better, or are they equal? Does the knowledge of who you truly are carry more weight than the knowledge of what you want to do? When will people who know what they "want to be" turn into that person? Will the person I am change, when I find out what I want? I do not know, but I do not think so. The person I am is strange, and the opposites inside me are confusing, I do not know when I strayed from so many of my peers, so many of my friends. I've never drank a beer, but I am intoxicated by music, by surfing, by writing. I believe in God but not the Church; I pray to God and meditate to Buddha; I cry, more than a lot of men I would wager; I laugh, also more than a lot of men; I am open and honest and I refuse to play games; I am not in the very least bit scared of dying, but I am not afraid to live. I know I will never work an 8-5 job, I know I will always hate wearing a tux.

I do not know how they got here, but the opposites inside me truly perplex me.

eloquently said by

| 12:56 AM | | |


Tuesday, January 20, 2004 The Opposites Inside Me I thought a lot today. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, sat still, and let any and everything pour through my brain. What I began to slowly realize while filtering through the thoughts that cluttered my head was that I am truly a man of opposites. I am not entirely sure how this came about, when the shift began, or if I was even conscious of the choices I made that lead to this state of an almost antonymic existence. I suppose I've always walked somewhat of a different path, marched to the beat of a different drummer (that is the lamest analogy by the way), and done my own thing but it was not until speaking with a few friends that I realized that there are a great deal of minor discrepancies between myself and the rest of the population, but deeper than all of that, there is one inherent difference that composes who I am, the question is, where did it come from? The day we placed the silly tassel to the other side of the cap, the day those same caps littered the sky like falling stars, the day we walked across that high school field one last time, everything changed. From then on, and in truth even before that day, we were bombarded and assaulted with questions...Where will you go, what will you do, what do you want out of life, what's in your future, what do you want to be? Rarely, if ever, was the question asked to me, Who Are You? I do not know if it was the absence of that question, or the absence of an answer to all of the others, but from that day forward, I wanted to answer only one, Who was I? It is not arrogance, and it is not ignorance, but I feel the vast majority of people try very hard to answer the first questions, assuming the answers will eventually create a new answer for the latter. As I sit here typing this, I can think of so many people who know what it is they want out of life, where they want to end up, who they want to end up with, and what they Will be; as I look at myself, I realize I have no idea what I want out of life, I have no idea where I will end up, nor with who, nor what I will be, but I do know who I am. The question I am left with, is which is better, or are they equal? Does the knowledge of who you truly are carry more weight than the knowledge of what you want to do? When will people who know what they "want to be" turn into that person? Will the person I am change, when I find out what I want? I do not know, but I do not think so. The person I am is strange, and the opposites inside me are confusing, I do not know when I strayed from so many of my peers, so many of my friends. I've never drank a beer, but I am intoxicated by music, by surfing, by writing. I believe in God but not the Church; I pray to God and meditate to Buddha; I cry, more than a lot of men I would wager; I laugh, also more than a lot of men; I am open and honest and I refuse to play games; I am not in the very least bit scared of dying, but I am not afraid to live. I know I will never work an 8-5 job, I know I will always hate wearing a tux. I do not know how they got here, but the opposites inside me truly perplex me. eloquently said by \| 12:56 AM \| \| \|	Tyler Knott Productions Tyler Knott Photography Vimeo Tumblr Twitter Clutch Del.icio.us MySpace Last.fm LinkedIn Resumé Atom Feed Twitters follow me on Twitter Horizon Expanders McGraw Donovan Dave Morin Flickr Blog Jaymie Keller Kevin Casey Nate Warner Rachel Hoffenberg Sarah Joelle Sarah Joelle's Music My Photography Past Downpours September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 Copyright This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.